


Hardships

by ReginaNocis



Series: Obscure Love [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-25
Packaged: 2018-10-23 22:58:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10729026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReginaNocis/pseuds/ReginaNocis
Summary: “Heard you were back from the dead, and we had to come see for ourselves,” Stark said when he walked into the room. He took a second to scan the room for reactions, and he wasn't happy with what he found. Almost all of them were glaring at him, with the exception of the two men he'd never met before, and Stark himself. Well, Tony had probably known for months.





	Hardships

“DC, we've got visitors!” Skye shouted from below, using his nickname intentionally to alert him that it was someone who didn't know he was still alive. As long as it wasn't... them, he was okay with meeting people he used to know. He assumed she knew better than to call him down for them, though. He was wrong.

“Heard you were back from the dead, and we had to come see for ourselves,” Stark said when he walked into the room. He took a second to scan the room for reactions, and he wasn't happy with what he found. Almost all of them were glaring at him, with the exception of the two men he'd never met before, and Stark himself. Well, Tony had probably known for months.

“Yes, well, we weren't prepared for you,” Simmons said quietly from her corner. She was watching everything warily, knowing that Phil wasn't good at handling stressful situations still. Fitz was beside her, trying to stay silent and keep her silent.

“We weren't expecting to get the news that the handler we'd mourned wasn't really dead,” Clint snapped. Of them all, he looked the angriest. He was also the one Phil was the least interested in, at the moment. He was studying the two new faces with interest.

One he recognized from the news during the time of the SHIELD take-down. Sam Wilson, if he wasn't wrong. He was standing very close to Steve, clearly trying to keep the peace. The other man was one Coulson had never seen before, though there was something familiar about him. It was a bright summer day, but he was wearing a hoodie and gloves. His hair was pulled back, and his eyes were dark.

“I was dead, for five days. I shouldn't be alive now, but Fury used a dangerous procedure to bring me back,” Phil said softly, focusing on the conversation. It wasn't one he wanted to repeat.

“And you didn't think to tell us?” Natasha asked, her voice toneless. She was taking it the hardest, whether she showed it or not. There were only a few people she'd trusted, and he'd betrayed that trust.

“I'm sorry. I haven't had a chance to do much outside of rebuilding SHIELD yet. I would have contacted you the moment I had time to spare, but my team needs me,” he said calmly. He shouldn't have mentioned his team. He felt Skye's hand on his arm, could feel the tremors as she tried to calm herself down. He laid his hand over hers in reassurance, noticing everyone's eyes going to their hands. So let them think whatever they wanted. They didn't need to know anything.

“Phil, we've got incoming military vehicles, unauthorized. My guess is Hydra,” May called from wherever she had stationed herself. Phil cursed under his breath and went into action immediately.

“FitzSimmons, back to the lab. Tell Mack to bring up whatever weapons he can get his hands on. Set lock-down procedures into place as you go. I want you safe! Skye, if you can't keep control, get to your safe room. I'll have May meet you there when she can. Bobbi, Hunter, I know you're hiding in the shadows out there. Make sure the records room is sealed, then meet Mack here to hold the defense. Everyone else, get out,” he ordered, moving up the steps as he spoke. He needed to secure his office before he could fight.

“DC, you're sending away the _Avengers,_ ” Skye argued, looking up at him in disbelief.

“I'm aware of what I'm doing. They didn't come to fight our battles, they came to fight with me. We can resume the conversation at a later date, I'm sure,” he replied, pressing in the code to seal the door off from anyone other than him. “The fact that you're still here means that you're under control, correct? We don't want the roof coming down on us.”

She gave him one last look of disbelief before taking off down the hallway past Bobbi and Hunter, who were on their way in. He didn't miss the greetings exchanged between Bobbi, Clint, and Natasha. He'd known they knew each other, but not the extent of it. He didn't have time to care. He could hear what sounded like three vehicles coming to a stop outside. They wouldn't be able to defend themselves for long. And why were the Avengers still here? He'd told them to leave.

Instead of leaving, they'd all chosen good tactical positions and gotten ready for an attack. He really didn't have the energy to deal with this today.

“What are your orders?” the man he'd never met asked. He was standing closest, with Steve close beside him giving him a strange look of understanding.

“I'm afraid I don't know who you are,” Phil replied cautiously. “So I really don't know what you can do. But we need to make sure Hydra doesn't get their hands on anything in here. Anyone that comes through those doors doesn't walk out again, whether they're dead or in cuffs. Clear?” Everyone in the room nodded.

 

“I'm James Barnes. If you were still wondering,” the man informed him quickly, sticking close to his side after the battle.

“Bucky, you don't have to explain yourself to him. He sure as hell never does,” Steve said quietly, coming up behind them.

“I wanted him to know, for the future,” Bucky protested, turning to frown at Steve. “And you didn't exactly give him much room to explain anything. He probably had a perfectly good reason to wait on telling you.

“Fine, he's got time now. This is over, let's round up the others and talk,” Steve replied, tone still harsh. Phil wondered briefly if he'd still be so upset when he learned what had happened. The real reason Phil hadn't contacted them.

Skye stopped him on the way into the meeting room, looking worried. “I know you feel like you owe them something, I won't pretend to know why. But Coulson... DC, this is going to be really hard for you. If it's something you don't want to talk about, they'd have to respect that. We can make them leave right now, if you want,” she said softly.

“I appreciate your concern, Skye, but this is something I'd have to do eventually. Better to get it over with now,” he told her, giving her a rare smile.

“Do you want me to go in with you? I've heard the story, and I can offer moral support,” she offered.

“Can you guarantee that you won't lose control if there is shouting and or violence? That you won't bring the place down around us when the insult me and call me a liar?” he asked her. The look on her face was enough to make him regret speaking at all, and he pulled her into a hug. “That was mean, I'm sorry. You don't have to worry about me, Skye. I'm alright.”

“Okay. Come find me afterwards. I'll probably be in the lab with Fitz,” she told him, turning to head that way before he could argue. He'd probably need her support afterward, anyways.

The explanation took longer than he'd anticipated, but the reactions were pretty much what he knew was coming. Natasha was silent, but he could see the sadness in her eyes. Steve and Clint were outraged that anyone could so obviously inflict that kind of torture. Tony was strangely quiet, and Bruce had left the room. The two new guys, Bucky and Sam, had watched all of the reactions, unsure of how to react themselves. It was Sam who spoke first.

“You don't know me. I'm sure you will, because I'm betting these guys won't stay away, and I go where Steve goes. But I do have something to say about all of this. While it was wrong for them to make that call against your wishes, I'm 100% certain that everyone in this room is glad that you're alive. Even me and Bucky, who don't really know you. We've seen how upset they all get every time someone even mentions your name. People care about you, Director Coulson,” he said quietly.

“Please, just call me Phil. It would be silly, after all of that, for you to call me by my title,” Phil replied, rubbing his forehead. “I'm not unhappy to be back. I'd lost my will to live, for a long time. But my team has helped me, and rebuilding SHIELD has given me something more to focus on. It's not safe for you to be coming around, I'm afraid. This might be the last time we see each other. Hydra coordinates these attacks more often than I'd care to admit.”

“There's an easy solution to that, you know,” Tony spoke up, meeting Phil's eyes for the first time. “We lost you once, Agent. We're not losing you again.”

“If you're suggesting giving up on SHIELD, Mr. Stark, I want you to leave now and don't bother even trying to contact us,” Phil snapped, frowning.

“I'm suggesting leaving this base, actually. Not abandoning SHIELD. Relocate to a safer place, a place big enough for your entire team, where it won't look weird for people to come and go,” he said quickly.

“If such a place exists, I've yet to find it,” Phil said quietly. “This is the only place I can afford to keep. It hasn't been easy, since the original SHIELD fell.”

“Come live with us. You can each have a floor of the tower, and I've got plenty of lab space for FitzSimmons. Bruce and I can help your hacker with her shaking problem. The others can train with the assassins, and you can use one of the empty offices to run your operations out of. People come in and out all the time, and we've got the best security in the world. You'll be living with the _Avengers._ What do you say?” Tony stated, a smile forming on his face.

Phil shook his head, frowning slightly. “I can't ask that of you. I wouldn't have the money to rent any of it. We'd just be in your way.”

“Isn't that for us to say?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow challengingly. “This is Tony's place. Do you really think there's not enough room? And if you think we'd let you pay for staying there, you're obviously not up to your normal speed yet. Again, this is Tony. He doesn't need more money.”

“Pepper has missed you. She will want to know that you're still alive, and then she'll want you close by so she can kill you again,” Tony said with a smirk.

“And I've wanted to meet FitzSimmons for a while now. Their work is seriously impressive. I would love a chance to do some kind of project with them,” Bruce added.

“And Sam and I would love to get to know you better. We've heard stories, and we never thought we'd get to hear the man behind them,” Bucky said quietly, speaking for the first time since entering the room.

Phil hesitated, but he didn't know why. It was a good offer, and he wasn't going to find anything better. He knew every single member of the team would want him to do it, without even having to ask them. But...

“Let me discuss it with my team. I'll give you an answer before you leave today. May will show you around the base. I have some things I have to do,” he said quietly, standing and walking out of the room before anyone could protest. He made it all the way down to the lab before he was aware of the person following him.

“Can I help you with something else, Barnes?” he called over his shoulder before entering the lab. He heard rather than saw Bucky hesitate for only a moment.

“I'd prefer to stay with you, if it's alright. I've been around them ever since... well. Too long. It's nice to be around new people. If I'm bothering you, I'll go back...” he replied.

“No, it's okay. I won't keep secrets from you. I'll warn you, though, Skye probably already knows everything there is to know about you. She's paranoid sometimes, especially after an attack like that,” Phil assured him, holding the door open so Bucky could go in first. He could see the relief in the way he held himself.

“DC! That was faster than I expected. They let you out in one piece?” Skye said as soon as she saw him. He nodded and gave her a strained smile.

“Skye, this is James Barnes,” he replied quietly. “I needed some time to think, and I thought maybe you could help me. Can you hack into Stark Tower?”

Skye bit her lip, obviously displeased. “No. I've been trying for three hours, but there's a firewall like I've never seen before. I haven't given up yet!”

“That's okay. If you can't, I don't believe anyone will be able to, maybe not even Stark himself. He made us an offer, actually. A place to live in that tower of his. What do you think?” he asked, sitting at his normal chair. He nodded his hello to Fitz, who had just noticed them there. FitzSimmons were deep into some form of electronic, probably something Skye had asked for. Fitz seemed to be willing to do anything for her lately.

“Well... I mean that would be great. He's got all the best toys. But if it makes you uncomfortable, or if there's any actual reason that you're hesitating, we're all happy to stay here. We'd back you in any decision you make. You know that,” she told him earnestly.

“Thank you. That means a lot to me. I knew you would want to go live at the tower, though. I really just needed time to wrap my head around the fact that they know I'm alive and they didn't kill me again,” he replied, lips twitching in amusement. He could always count on Skye for loyalty, which was nice.

“There was never an intent to kill you,” Bucky stated seriously. “They were hurt that you hadn't informed them, but they were also relieved and overjoyed that you survived somehow. I heard Sam and Steve talking about it on the way over.”

“If I truly had believed there was a reason to fear for my safety, I wouldn't have let them in. And I certainly wouldn't be accepting the offer of living in the tower,” Phil assured him, smiling slightly.

“We're going to live there?” Skye asked, excited.

“Yes, I don't see a reason not to. We'll pack up in the morning, providing Stark still wants us by the time I track him down with an answer,” he replied, giving her a smile and squeezing her shoulder.

“Thank you! Oh my god, this is so perfect!” she squealed, beaming. “Can I tell the others?” He nodded and she hugged him tightly. Her expression when she pulled away made him unsure of which of them was more surprised by her actions.

When she was gone, Bucky stepped in front of him to draw his attention. He looked nervous about something, which automatically put Phil on edge.

“Are you certain this is what you want?” he asked, serious. Phil studied his expression, concerned. Were not all of them on board with this plan?

“I don't have to be, Srgt. Barnes. I haven't given Stark an answer yet. If this isn't something you'd like, I can say no. I won't force our presence on anyone if I can help it,” he responded immediately, feeling oddly disappointed.

“No! I would love it if you were close by. I mean... that is... call me Bucky. Or James, if you prefer. I haven't been a Sergeant in a long time. And it doesn't bother me at all,” Bucky said quickly. Phil nodded, confused.

“Why did you ask, if you aren't against it?” he asked. Really, he just wanted to understand now. Something was clearly up.

“I... well, I just want you to be sure. Because I'd love to get to know you, but I don't want you to feel obligated, you know?” was the hesitant reply.

“I'm afraid I don't know, at all,” he said with a small frown.

“I believe he means that he'd like to see more of you, in a less than platonic way,” Simmons spoke from behind them. So apparently they were actually listening. Bucky was blushing now, which Phil found adorable.

“Thank you, Simmons. Shouldn't you both be packing?” he asked calmly, wanting them to leave. Simmons grabbed Fitz's arm and dragged him out before he could protest, promising to help him find Skye. Phil would have to ask one of them about that later. He just knew he was missing an interesting story there. Maybe May could fill him in. Right, the matter at hand.

“Is that true, James?” he asked softly, trying to meet his eyes. Bucky seemed unable to meet his gaze, but he nodded silently. “Because I think I'd like that, too.”

“What? I mean... really?” Bucky asked, sounding completely shocked. Phil would have chuckled if he wasn't sure it would make the wrong impression. It was a serious conversation, after all.

“Yes, really. We just met, so I don't want to move too quickly. But I would love to get to know you, in a more than platonic way, to quote Simmons,” he replied. He sounded calm, even though his heart was beating the fastest it had gone since coming back to life.

“I would love that. So... does courting still work the same way? I haven't had the opportunity, or someone I've been interested in, since before the war,” Bucky admitted.

“I believe the mechanics haven't changed, though it's a bit different with a man than with a woman,” Phil told him, sounding as amused as he felt. “Though you don't need to court me. I didn't mean to move quite _that_ slowly.”

 


End file.
